


The Witches Who Don't Do Anything

by Mystic_Harley



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Brownies, Gen, Humanstuck, Witchcraft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 02:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20789177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Harley/pseuds/Mystic_Harley
Summary: When Rose was invited to a meeting with the coven, she truthfully was expecting something a little more... energetic.





	The Witches Who Don't Do Anything

Intellectually, Rose should have expected what she had actually got. She knew deep down that when Jade had invited her over after expressing some interest in witchcraft, that there wasn’t going to be anything truly  _ fanciful _ about it. Despite trying her hardest however, she couldn’t stop those intrusive thoughts from intruding into her mind about what exactly these three witches got up to on a weekly basis   
  
Perhaps Dave’s influence was starting to become a problem, as she was under the impression that they got together they must do _ something _ even somewhat magical. Cast a spell, talk about familiars, hell even a shamshot ritual would’ve appeased Rose. But, as she stepped into Feferi Peixes’ luxury apartment and caught the unmistakable odor of chocolate in the air mixed with marijuana (which was obviously Damara), Rose couldn’t help but be disappointed.    
  
“Hey girls! Guess who’s here!” Jade called, Bec padding behind her and hopping up on the couch next to Damara, who reached down and scratched the dog’s head lazily with one hand, the other holding the blunt waving a little at Rose.    
  
Rose glanced around, a little unsure where to sit until Feferi burst into the scene with her shock of blonde hair and bright sparkling fuchsia eyes. “Rose! Come on, sit sit! Make yourself at home! Just not at home. Or else you’ll end up like Damara.”    
  
“I’ll have you know Feferi that it is entirely your fault for having the most comfortable furniture known to both this and the afterlife.” Damara interjected, making no effort to actually correct Feferi on her comment.    
  
“Yeah well you’re the reason I needed to buy an ashtray so my poor carpet wouldn’t get ruined, so we’re even.” She shot back good naturedly, before turning her attention back at Rose. “The brownies should be ready in about five minutes. Can I get you anything to drink?”    
  
“Uh…” Rose began intelligently, before shrugging one of her shoulders. “Can I have some milk, considering what I’ll be having soon?”   
  
“Of course! I’ll be right back.” She watched, rather dumbly, as Feferi disappeared back into the kitchen. Hesitantly, she moved over to a gaudy looking loveseat and sat down on it rigidly, despite the fact it was indeed rather comfortable.    
  
Rose looked around the living room and noted it was distinctly Feferi. A gigantic fish tank that was almost installed into the wall was large and proud off to the side, the various aquatic life swimming peacefully. She glanced over at the bookshelf, which she felt a little ashamed at being so surprised at, but one quick scan revealed nothing that automatically screamed ‘witch’ to Rose.    
  
“So…” She started, drumming her fingers against her thigh. “I guess this is a bit of a silly question but what do you three do exactly?”   
  
Damara shrugged, shifting slightly on the couch. “We usually just talk and hang out. It’s not like we’re a school club or anything. Sometimes we’ll all pick a day and go out to dinner or do something fun but other than that?” She shrugged, taking a drag. “Not much.”   
  
Rose scrunched her nose a little as the smoke wafted a bit towards her, and she fought the urge to cough. “I-I see. Are there any….” She found herself faltering, unsure how to ask without sounding rude. “Rituals, I suppose?”   
  
“Oh loads!” Jade piped in, smiling at Rose. “But that’s not like, a weekly thing, if that’s what your asking. We usually save them for special occasions and holidays. Halloween is  _ loads _ of fun.” She grinned suddenly, her buck teeth poking at her bottom lip. “It gets pretty crazy.”   
  
“What she means is, we watch Hocus Pocus. It’s tradition.” Damara cut in, smirking at the put out look on her young friend’s face.    
  
Feferi’s voice piped up from the kitchen. “We do more than that Damara! I know that your black and withered heart weeps with despair at the idea but don’t be mean!” She walked out, carrying a tray of the most delicious looking brownies Rose had ever seen along with various drinks. Feferi passed the drinks out first and smiled at Rose. “We aren’t just going to throw you into the deep end, Rose. That uh…that didn’t work the last time we tried.” She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.   
  
Jade snorted, reaching over for a brownie and gently smacking away Bec’s curious snuffling nose. “She’s just embarrassed because the spell she picked backfired completely.” She took a bite, smirking at the blush that crept up the rich girl’s face.   
  
“Shut up Jade. It’s not my fault she confused a crocodile for an alligator.” She snatched up her own brownie and took a spiteful bite, glaring at her friend. Rose couldn’t help but laugh a little as her mind wondered what on earth  _ that _ could’ve been about, reaching out she grabbed a brownie and tried a bite.   
  
Feferi peered at her curiously over her glasses as Rose chewed thoughtfully for a few moments then devoured the entire thing in one go. “I take it you like my baking?” She asked casually.   
  
Rose nodded, taking a little sip of her milk before replying. “That was probably the best damn brownie I’ve ever had in my life. May I have another?”   
  
The other blonde waved her hand. “Be my guest, otherwise Jade will eat them all and they go right to her thighs.” She grinned at the offended scoff that received.   
  
With her own little mischievous smile, Rose reached over for another one. “Everything goes to her thighs, don’t worry.” There was another offended scoff and Rose’s smile grew. Damara started laughing so hard she began coughing, thumping herself on the chest.   
  
“I hope you  _ do _ die because then I’ll resurrect you into my zombie puppet Damara.” Jade mumbled, biting into her brownie. Sensing his master sulking, the big white dog got up and rested his head into her lap. Jade scratched his ears and smiled. “What a good boy you are Bec, someone who’s not gonna say mean things to me, that’s right!”   
  
Feferi rolled her eyes. “Jade how many times have I told you, make out with your dog  _ outside. _ ”   
  
“That’ll just mean we’ll hear them howling.” Rose commented, and satisfied at the choked laughter that got from Feferi. “Ah...I’m curious. I know it’s not really Jade’s thing but…. Do you two like Lovecraft?”    
  
Damara’s reaction was instantaneous, leaning up and putting out a hand towards Feferi, whose eyes were wide with delight. “Down girl, down. Don’t jump the newbie. Jade you’re a dog person, make her heel before it’s too late.”   
  
“Feferi.” Jade said in a warning tone that got Bec whining. “Don’t make me leash you. Again.”   
  
Feferi glared at Jade and not so subtly got up and sat down next to Rose. “Rose. I  _ adore _ Lovecraft.” She wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I think you and I are going to get along swimmingly.”   
  
Damara pursed her lips unhappily. “I blame you for this.” She pointed her blunt out at Jade, who rolled her eyes and snatched another brownie. “We’re never gonna hear the end of it.”   
  
“The fact that you two simpletons can’t appreciate the literary genius of the old ones is sad and disheartening.” Feferi sniffed at them, turning her attention back to Rose. “So what’s your favorite story?”   
  
Rose blinked, and nibbled on her brownie thoughtfully. “Hmm… not really a big one but I have to confess, Shadow over Innsmouth is one I’m very fond of.”   
  
Feferi gasped in delight. “Oh my god. Mine is the Dunwich Horror. Hang on, I have an anthology you might be interested in.” She got up before Rose could really respond to that, bounding off to her room.    
  
Rose blinked a little, then looked between Jade and Damara. “I take it I have ah, opened Pandora’s Box?”   
  
Humming, Damara shifted and extended her hand. “That you have Rose Lalonde, that you have. Welcome to the Skaia Coven. Feferi’s not gonna let you go home now, I hope you know that.”    
  
Rose took the hand, and smiled. “You know, I don’t think I would mind that one bit.” She said, which got a wicked grin from Damara.   
  
Jade then piped up. “I still think that’s a stupid name. You make it sound like we’re some middle school club in one of your anime.”   
  
Damara smiled tightly at Jade. “Jade? Shut up.”   
  
“Got it!” Rose reeled back in alarm when the largest book she had ever seen was placed in front of her. She could’ve sworn the floor shook as Feferi smiled proudly. Rose gingerly tested its weight and was even more alarmed at the idea of having to pick up the damn thing. She was concerned if she held it she’d be arrested for carrying a deadly weapon. “I have uh… a few rarities that I don’t mind lending.” Feferi said shyly, rubbing at her neck again.   
  
Rose took a deep breath, gingerly lifting the thing and grunting at the effort. “Well, no time like the present I suppose. Do you usually stay for dinner?” After a round of confirmations, Rose leaned back and flipped the book open. “Oh good, just checking…” She smiled at the others, who smiled back at her. She had an inkling that this was going to be a lot of fun.


End file.
